Bringing the Shit to Shoe Level

It's been awhile. Been grinding away. But here goes again...

Just thought I'd come out and say it: That's right, I support the House bill 5843: Act to Remove Federal Penalties for the Personal Use of Marijuana by Responsible Adults.

Kudos to Barney from MA for introducing this bill. And Tammy Baldwin (D-WI) for co-sponsoring!

It's currently under review by the Subcommittee on Crime, Terrorism, and Homeland Security. I highly doubt it will make it very far, but damnit, it should. I'll be keeping my (red) eye on it. Wiki page here.

In other news...

Serving God | Apparently, God--being omnipresent, omnipotent, and all-knowing--also has complete and indisputable immunity from the courts. So goes the ruling by Judge Marlan Polk in Omaha, which held that, although God is present everywhere, there's no evidence he was/ever can be served papers. The suit was thrown out, like those sinners Adam & Eve from Eden. Former State Senator (D-NE) Ernie Chambers brought the suit against God to make the point that anyone should have equal access to the courts, a response to the state legistlature's previous attempts to limit frivolous lawsuits. His last suit against God sought a permanent injunction to prevent God from committing acts of violence such as earthquakes and tornadoes. The lawsuits may have failed, but they've tarnished God's already questionable reputation. God did not return any calls for comment.

(Some) Men and Their Pussies

Dear Clark Hoyt:

WTF? Your New York Times ran a story--albeit, in the pish-on-the-posh Sunday Styles section--about a "growing trend" of men embracing their fluffier side and owning more and more cats. Tip of the hat to Jack Shafer, over at Slate.com, who straps on the chest waders and mucks through the bullshit.

I'm a little too nonplussed right now to comment on this shitty, pseudo-reportage (see below), so I'll just plop some photos down. Me and two other literary cat-owning icons. Who gives a rip who owns what pet? Silly.

I had to, you know, since men are just flooding the internet with photographs and videos of their "little buddies." Disclaimer: I'm not the owner. He's just a friend :)

I like Jack Shafer's recipe for frothy trend stories:

How to write a bogus trend story: Start with something you wish were on the rise. State that rise as a fact. Allow that there are no facts, surveys, or test results to support such a fact. Use and reuse the word seems. Collect anecdotes and sprinkle liberally. Drift from your original point as far as you can to collect other data points. Add liberally. Finish with an upbeat quotation like "My cat takes priority over the new relationship. Realistically, unless there's something absolutely amazing about [the woman I'm dating], he wins."

Bushwick | Landlord Uses Cat Carcasses to Drive Tenants Out

Good lord! NYC is rife with stories about tenants putting up with eccentric landlords. But this is downright shameful, or simply criminal. To hell with Heskel Properties, who tried everything they could to force the tenants out of the rent-stabilized apartment at 64 Troutman Street, which is 8 blocks or so from me(!). Deplorable.

Should you decide to go to their offices and urinate in a secluded corner of the office...


64 Troutman. Debris from the stairway (between 1st and 2nd floor) that was ripped out and replace with plywood stairs, to the surprise of the unwitting tenants.



This has been an ongoing thing. When asked in April about the stench emanating from the vacant first floor apartment where the stairway debris had been dumped, Mr. Heskel--the supposed building manager--said, “Nobody has called me about a smell. What do you mean it smells? I closed the door. What’s the big deal?”

Hats off to Kennedy Rivera and the Bushwick Housing Independence for helping these tenants--and other Bushwick tenants--stand up for their housing rights.

When Subatomic Particles Collide

We'll find out what happens tomorrow when CERN flips the switch on their brand new Large Hadron Collider. Some fear--lawsuits and death threats abound--the end is nigh. Although this 27 kilometer, 125 (or so) meter-underground experiment will reproduce conditions similar to those present at the Big Bang, most believe we will not see the cataclysmic visions of some transpire.

Some worry that the black holes created by the myriad collisions of subatomic particles in the LHC will survive and grow exponentially to cause hurricanes, tsunamis, or even to just gulp up the entire planet.

The goal of this thing?

• Learn about how our universe was born
• Maybe discover the Higgs boson, the so-called "God particle," which is all theory at present
• Maybe discover extra dimensions of space as predicted by string theory
• Give theoretical physicists something to do on Sundays (see: crunching the data)

Bonne Chance, sciencey peoples!



For Your/My Edification


News on the Eve of



Update (10 September 08):

Success! And we're all still alive (so far)...


Live at First Beam

Update: Single Life in NYC (Quantified)

Forbes released its annual Best Cities for Singles list a few days ago...

...And as I mentioned before, NYC doesn't seem to be the best place for singles. Turns out, it's the 8th best. The criteria covers 7 categories: number of singles, nightlife, culture, cost of living alone, job growth, online dating activity and coolness. Of course, coastal cities were much more "cool" than the "fly-over" cities in the Midwest. And New York, while being top dog in coolness and nightlife and third best in cultural resources, ranked dead last in cost-of-living and poorly in job growth. No surprise on those economical factors; New York is a grind. And for that, it gets bumped down substantially from the overall ranking. Anyway, just interesting to see that quantified a little bit.

True, it's sometimes hard to quantify and rank things--and the methodology can be debatable--but I have to attest to Milwaukee's poor ranking. There's a dearth of...well, all of the above categories. I felt a little stagnant there--and I don't think it was all just me.

Noted: While you're in your mid-twenties move to the coast/the big city (if you're not already there), live (with roommates/strangers you can tolerate) it up, beware of claws/trim your own (aka, don't fall victim to/become a self-seeking people-trouncer), find an intelligent gal (preferably one who wants to get the hell out) with whom you can have a fervent debate/hug, go back home/move inland away from the madness. Oh, and get a job that isn't geographically dependent; that is, a job that's in demand everywhere (i.e., teacher, firefighter, health care professional, police officer, store greeter, etc).

...Or move to "Hotlanta," but I'll have to say a thanks-but-no-thanks to that one.


More rumination to come on the NYC singles front.

As They Do in Thessaloniki...

...same should be done to Khim's Millennium Market & Brooklyn Natural, local "organic" food-store gougers of people who just want some quality groceries. May shame devour you!

...Or more simply, may there be a Trader Joe's built nearby.

Amy Goodman, Sharif Abdel Kouddous and Nicole Salazar

Hats off to these three Democracy Now! journalists who were unlawfully arrested--violently, at that--at the RNC convention in Minneapolis on Monday afternoon. They were covering the protests outside the convention (unlike their other colleagues in the media). When Amy heard that Sharif and Nicole were arrested, Amy turned the mike on the cops, who then of course manhandled her, cuffed her, and shoved her into their van.

They've since been released from custody, but they face felony charges. Psh. Outrageous!

Report on!

Glass Ceiling Shattered in NYC

All over the city the glass is raining down. More construction woes in Manhattan.

On another note, it's a little easier finding a job in Milwaukee these days. Little=.2%. Milwaukee's unemployment rate went down from last year at this time. I sure as hell couldn't find many good jobs there. But I guess the health care system is keeping people employed, 140,000 people strong (see Baby Boomers). Still, the job market everywhere persists to be shitty.

And wouldn't ya know? Milwaukee is the third best city to commute in. Look at these stats from Forbes:
Commuting to work in downtown Milwaukee is pretty easy. The city is compact enough that 45% of people get to their job in under 20 minutes, with only 3.2% of residents spending an hour or more en route to work. Both figures are significantly better than national averages. Only 15% of residents use an option other than driving alone, but you can't really blame them; the average citizen spends only 19 hours a year in traffic.

I never thought I'd miss my car. 19 hours a year in traffic? I spend at least 10 hours a week on the train to/from work. I miss rolling out of bed a half hour before work and still being on time.


I need a(nother) vacation

At Least the Road/Bridge to Hell Will Be Paved?

So, I'm (almost) officially a New Yorker now, at least by some measure. General consensus is: If you lived somewhere for a year, you're in; you can assume the appropriate city-suffix (-ite, -er, -ean, and so on). I suppose a year is enough time to become well-acclimated, well-adjusted, to make it or break it, to call someplace home. Isn't it the standard by which college admissions consider you a resident of the state? Pretty sure, but no time to research that now; I read the news today, and goodness.

New York has a budget crisis. And one solution proposed to help pay for infrastructure is to sell/substantially loan major roadways and bridges--yup, the Brooklyn Bridge, no less--to private companies who will maintain it and reap the profit from tolls. Yeesh! I guess NYC isn't the first though. Same happened with Chicago's Skyway. And it's been done in other states as well. It seems Wall Street will be jumping into infrastructure in the coming years, and that may also include airports.

'!'...that about sums it up.

So does this:

How Do You Entertain a Bored Pharoah?

Perusing the news today, I see the headline, World's oldest joke traced back to 1900 BC. A study commissioned by the television channel Dave and published by the University of Wolverhampton has uncovered some the oldest known jokes.

The oldest? Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap. (1900 BC – 1600 BC Sumerian Proverb Collection 1.12-1.13)

Haha. Those mischievous young women... And those Sumerians...so merry.

So how do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish. (An abridged version first found in 1600 BC on the Westcar Papryus).

Hah. Lecherous pharaohs.

Or this one, coming in at number ten: Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: "In silence." (Collected in the Philogelos or "Laughter-Lover" the oldest extant jest book and compiled in the 4th/5th Century AD)

Hah. Funny thing is I can actually relate to that one. There's always the obligatory banter that the hairperson always starts, to put you/herself at ease, to ingratiate herself for a better tip. I hate small talk sometimes.

...But I do love ancient toilet humor. So bawdy. Like this one from 10th century England: What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key.

Narf!